dr_grrlfriend

I was hoping to have a Sherlock Holmes review, but snow kept us at home this Christmas day, so it's postponed for the time being. For what it's worth, "Ain't it Cool News" seems to think it's decent enough, and, thankfully, both reviews do mention Holmes using his genius to solve a perplexing mystery. If that's included, then I'll most likely come away satisfied.

But I did get to see the Doctor Who Christmas Special, and without giving anything away, I can say a few things: I'm sorely going to miss Tennant, though he's bringing his Doctor to a close that feels complete rather than abruptly interrupted. But on a completely different note, I think this is the first episode of Doctor Who to mention a sitting U.S. President by name and use audio clips of his speeches as part of the episode's dialogue. And while I'm somewhat up on my UK politics and the views expressed about America via their topical comedy program(me)s, either someone has an overabundance of expectation regarding the U.S. President's effect on the worldwide economy, or the scriptwriter was being sarcastic (perhaps making a sideways dig at views held in Britain?). But either way, it was odd seeing (sort of) a "real" politician in an episode of 'Who, since normally the politicians are fictional archetypes made to either get killed by someone taking over or they are whoever is taking over, but in disguise.

Anyway, a good cliffhanger, and I can't wait to see how they follow up the tantalizing final few minutes on New Year's Day.

Normally, this would get a place in the linkdump, but I can't get it out of my head. This is UPular, (in case that kills your 'net connection, here's a YouTube link) an ambient mix-song created by snippets of the Pixar movie, "Up." For those not familiar with the work of the tunesmith, "Pogo," he started out with this ditty called "Alice," and his latest effort was either commissioned or endorsed by Pixar itself. Though just meant to be a soundscape (picking syllables that just hit notes rather than form a musical verse), I keep wanting to sing along somehow.

Now I have to go dig out my poor Honda, entombed in unassembled snowmen. While I frost my goatee, here's a video-heavy linkpile:

- Presented as a sort of religious tract is this amusing guide to the Creation of the World of Grayhawk, the D&D campaign setting. See how many of the old gaming supplements you own from which they pulled the artwork.
- A Christmas-themed (but still challenging) puzzler: Light Up the Christmas Tree. Rotate the wire/channel bits to get power to every light.
- If you're out in the ice and snow, be very careful, or you might wind up crunching your fenders on YouTube.
- Last post, UK comedian Bill Bailey generated a techno remix by making a comment on a news quiz. Apparently, something talked about in one of his concerts actualized in real life. I wonder if he's that kid Ron Howard portrayed in "The Twilight Zone," but instead of being overtly malicious, he went into comedy?
- I think I need one of these Star Trek webcams. That way, I can pretend there are little people in the ship that fear my wrath, like in the original series episode, Catspaw.
- In a similar vein, someone in Japan has constructed models of the USS Enterprise-A, Battleship Yamato, and Voyager as working remote-control submarines. I almost want an in-ground pool now...
- Two engineers try out Christmas Laser Beam cats. Pew-pew, indeed.
- This strikes me as a "Grow" game combined with an offbeat "defense" game: Tetraform gives you the power to click on an enemy followed by your planet (not recommended) or another enemy ship to make them attract each other until they collide and explode. Works well for missiles, too.

For those unacquainted with the role-playing game mentioned in this week's FFN, there's a quick run-down of the basics for Synnibarr (as well as a few other, ah, "interesting" sourcebooks) at the RPG.net Wiki. There are even a few for sale via Amazon at various prices (and it managed to get a three-star review from someone, which seems a tad generous). I first heard of it thanks to this image from one of many motivational poster threads.

It's Christmas Eve Eve, and we're supposed to drive an hour or two on Christmas day, so I fully expect the force field surrounding our city to fail and allow in the blizzard that's supposed to blow through. I think I can say that the holiday has well and truly morphed from what Norman Rockwell envisioned into an event where I include visits with three to six other families (perhaps more, depending on how you count) and my big present is Cristi and I deciding to finally replace our 20-year-old washer & dryer (under mild protest. I mean, if you don't drag the sheets over the rust spots, they work as well as ever, right?). My siblings and I all agree that we won't break our checking accounts buying gifts for one another, but instead we buy either "group gifts" (food & drink) or donate to a charity in their name along with getting their children something fun to play with. However you celebrate or whatever you do, I hope everyone has some fun and safe time off to enjoy a little relaxation and something good to nosh on. And if you somehow think there's not enough stress, you could always decide to hit the malls on December 26th. :)

Or you could buy a T-shirt that I whipped up and somehow forgot to mention: LoLCats, HO!" Somehow, redubbing an episode of "Thundercats" in LoLspeak sounds somewhat intriguing, especially if you could make it seem that the mutants were confused by it and that it was Mum-Ra's annoyance at it that fueled his desire to destroy them. :)

Back to the usual items of interest: I've long told people upset by actors that say things they disagree with to separate the thespian's work from their private lives. Tom Cruise made that very difficult with quite a few well-publicized antics (though one of the remixes that resulted was quite amusing). That said, this trailer for his next film looks like a fun time. He may be kinda messed up off-screen, but he's got talent.

Here's something for the fans of British comedian Bill Bailey and "Have I Got News for You." Last week, Liberal Democrat MP Charles Kennedy was on the show, apparently the first MP to do so after a scandal involving other members of Parliament claiming some rather outlandish things as expenses (I believe the more famous ones were a duck pond, a moat, and a tower on a castle). Anyway, Bill was goading Mr. Kennedy into saying his colleagues were, ah, "less than honest" and suggested it would be remixed on YouTube and become a hit. Well, it's not on YouTube, but the mix does exist (using Bill's voice, samples from previous jokes about monkeys and octopuses, and the show's theme music).

Now I must away to help Cristi wrap [DATA EXPUNGED] for the nephews, so until Christmas Day's posting, here's:

- A bit of "hard" science for fiction to argue over: ten ways to travel in deep space and the physics of space battles.
- A guy decided to see what his cat, Kookoo, got up to during the day, so he put a GPS receiver on Kookoo's collar and compiled a video of the results.
- And since the season is 'tis-ing, from the nuts at "Everything is Terrible," here's The Majesty of Christmas Music. Sanity checks may be required.
- This is the time of year when people forward that text file about how fast Santa's sleigh has to go to reach every house and what happens to him and the reindeer after physics are applied (it's not pretty). So instead, I'm posting what most likely happened to the Ewoks after the second Death Star blew up in close proximity to the moon they were living on.
- Two rather offbeat holiday traditions: watching Donald Duck in Norway on Christmas Eve and watching a a sketch called 'Dinner for One' in Germany for New Years (at least, as of 2005).
- How about a new holiday tradition: Infectionator: Xmas Edition where you can not only generate zombies, but you can try to have Santa join your army of the undead.
- It's all a matter of opinion of course, though what intrigued me about the worst comics of the year (of which this is the second page) is that the winner(?) was a bizarre storyline from the "Mark Trail" comic strip.
- A coffee grinder might seem aggressive enough for many coffee drinkers, but this espresso machine is for those who find Chuck Norris a bit wimpy.
- The Vatican now says that his holiness is now his copyrightedness. Get to those "Pope Rooms" at Buca Di Beppo before they're closed down, folks!
- Artist of engine-driven oddities, Stan Mott would have surely been a huge tabletop gamer. I would love to see a "Car Wars" supplement based on his work. :)
- We end with a game called Space Ace, though it has nothing to do with Don Bluth. It's a flavor of the old vector-graphics "Lunar Lander" games, except you're flying through a maze of tunnels collecting dots while trying not to touch your highly volatile hull against the walls.

wheelbases, cargo capacity and more! The teen screaming has subsided (but not ended), and the dog is happily snoozing on the couch in front of the fire.

Yawn....

Please review a few back entries and enjoy the elevator music while the writer gets some sleep.

Marmaduke. This is a comic I thought was occasionally funny 'round about when I was eight. Of course, there were no webcomics back then, and if you wanted any graphical representations of humor, you got your folks to buy books for you or you got nothin'. And nothin' was what you got with Marmaduke, pretty much. The premise is that a Great Dane does something outrageous (and that's "outrageous" in a 1950's media sense of the word, the furthest extent of which would be catching a glimpse of a madien's slip as a breeze ruffles her calf-length skirt) in one panel and the humans involved explain why it's funny. However, I'm just an amateur when it comes to explaining Marmaduke, so thankfully someone else does so on a regular basis, as does another someone else.

Why do I bring up a single-panel vortex of un-funny on the comics page? They're making a Marmaduke movie. I'm not kidding. The the trailer is on this page at Slashfilm. And it looks like they're "updating it for a new generation" or something. Either he's going to talk in the film, or this is a "Kangaroo Jack" style trailer where the animal star only speaks in ads. But quality wise, it really shouldn't matter. This film didn't have to be called "Marmaduke," because nobody was out there wishing for Marmaduke to make a big-screen appearance. Any "big dog" character would have had the same effect on the bottom line, the studio wouldn't have had to pay the comic syndicate a dime, and my head wouldn't hurt thinking about the other films that must be in development based on "Barney Google and Snuffy Smith," "The Lockhorns," and "Ziggy." In fact, I can think of several comic strips that would make better movies than "Marmaduke," under certain conditions:

1. The Far Side. Already proven to be watchable in "Tales from the Far Side," this would be the animated movie for families where the grown-ups are nerds and the kids are ones you'd suspect of liking David Lynch if they knew who he was. How it would work: Gary Larson must write it or pick the cartoons used as source material. Further, it's not going to be a huge hit in the box office, but it will sell steadily on DvD forever, like a Monty Python movie. Also, the little 'bits' making it up will circulate on YouTube until the end of time.
2. Calvin & Hobbes. If there's one comic strip just about everyone wishes hadn't stopped, it was Bill Waterson's epic about a boy terror and his imaginary(?) friend, a stuffed tiger. They should have hucked "Dennis the Menace" when looking to the funnies and picked up Calvin, but... How it would work: Give it to Pixar and let them work on it without interference. Send Waterson to them in a locked crate so they can study him at leisure. If anyone tried making this in to a live-action film, it would fail so hard that audiences would be killed by the shrapnel.
3. Bloom County and/or Doonesbury. I put these two in one category for the "how it would work" section. Bloom County was one of the first newspaper strips to start doing things that a lot of webcomics now do on a regular bases: Introducing aliens, mad science, random celebrities, etc. and still making it all work instead of looking like the author is dredging the bottom of the creativity well. Doonesbury, for all the criticism lobbed at it from its political targets, had some really good and poignant runs. Alongside "Snoopy," Zonker Harris was one of my favorite comic characters ever, and I discovered his uncle Duke long before I ever heard of Hunter S. Thompson. How it would work: In both cases, making any kind of movie from this would have to be set in its heyday. That means no post-hiatus Trudeau and no "Outland" Breathed. These are the only projects I could think of that might do better without their authors, allowing directors who are fans of the features in their prime to do stories set in the 70's and 80's using the casts of these features.

And of course, there are loads of webcomics out there that deserve a whole string of feature films more than Marmaduke does, starting with Girl Genius getting a three-picture deal with Peter Jackson directing.

The second movie trailer I saw that crushed the other half of my soul was the one for 'Cats & Dogs 2.' The first film looked like it was almost a good idea which got saddled with lame jokes that sounded like they came from a Disney "made for our cable channel" movie with voiced-over puppies. The sequel appears to not only continue the trend, but seems, in spots, to suffer from a lower budget. I can pick out several "stuffed animal we're supposed to think is real" shots, and they re-use the "my owner is a crazy cat person" gag for the villain... again. But at least its a "new" franchise and not a remake, I suppose. And the writers (or maybe just the guy who came up with the title) have seen at least one classic James Bond film...

But all is not gloom and doom. I listen to very little music radio anymore, and when I was doing so recently, I heard a rather jaunty tune on a local "alternative" station (which they do tend to live up to; they don't sound like anything else on my dial, but I do live in Kansas City, so there you go) called "Fireflies." It's a synth-pop feel-good piece of bubblegum, and so I thought I'd share. Looking it up on Wikipedia, I saw that it had been a top Billboard hit, so I'm probably quite late to the party, mostly because I've been busy chasing kids off of my lawn. In hunting down the video, I also came across a one-man acapella version that was pretty decent as well.

I just realized that I've been very lax in getting new issues of ps238 up in the store, and that'll be rectified sometime tomorrow. In other comic happenings, I'm informed that North 40 was nominated for an award at Comicmonsters.com, with voting starting in a few days if I read the site correctly. The juxtaposition of the nominees' subject matter with the festive season doth please my ironic bits. I think if you win, you're given the soul of one of the other contestants... or a night's stay in a haunted asylum. I wonder if there's a cash equivalent? :)

While I hire a witch to help with the voting (what could go wrong?), here's some mystic portals to other realms:

- I'm a special effects nut from way back, starting with Ray Harryhausen and blue screen. But it's almost scary how often new techniques are used in seemingly mundane scenes. This is to preface you for this demo reel from Stargate Studios, showing how often their talents come into play in popular TV shows and movies.
- Even though his colleagues have been calling him "Sir" for some time, Patrick Stewart is to be knighted. Would that make him Sir Captain, Sir?
- A British court has ruled that Stormtrooper costumes from Star Wars aren't "sculpture," which enjoys 75 years of copyright, but "industrial design" that only gets 15 years, which means the guy who designed the helmets in 1976 can keep doing selling them.
- Way of an Idea is a puzzle game where the goal is to foster an idea in the head of a scientist by guiding an apple in its descent towards his head.
- Impressive stop-motion animation in Western Spaghetti.
- The "Snuggly" blanket-with-sleeves was apparently involved in a road accident with Underoos and they couldn't figure out which part went where.
- Penny-Arcade is getting started on what appears to be a short holiday series, though it's a little Illithid for some tastes.
- A classic ice-cutting-to-save-vikings game gets another installment in Icebreaker: The Gathering.
- Who knew the use of a tape measure could be a superpower? I think he may have found inspiration from a classic XKCD strip.
- Try your skills at Eeniebounce: Bounce your smiley face, collect all of the stars, and rebound off of numbered and colored platforms a specified number of times to progress. It's harder than it looks.
- And we close with something for all you holiday bakers out there (myself included): Gourmet magazine's favorite cookie recipes from 1940 through 2008.

"Honey Maid" has turned on us. Like all people getting up in years, the Maid is getting smaller. This might seem an odd thing for me to harp on, but wifey-poo has this great (and incredibly simple) recipe for toffee bark, (minus the nuts, sometimes with cinnamon) and it calls for graham crackers as its "crust" (she's also a "name brand" shopper, so it might take surgery to switch her to another crispy carbo), which was fine... until this year. The old crackers, about 1/8 of an inch wider, fit perfectly in the rimmed baking sheets we were wont to use. Now, cracker surgery has to be performed to get a "wall-to-wall" fit, which just adds to the stress of holiday entertaining. Were this a recipe where one could scarf raw cookie dough as an emotional salve, that would be one thing, but these are graham crackers: they need other stuff to be edible*. So Nabisco had better fess up and fix this problem or the torrent of complaints will no doubt destroy their baked-good empire.

* after you reach a certain age, that is. Kind of like how you stop eating vanilla wafers unless they're used as a topper for some kind of viscous pudding-based organism.

Sorry. Sugar rush. Too much peanut brittle (on sale near every freakin' cash register for a buck a box... right next to the chocolate covered cherry cordials. I'm doomed). Anyway, since I'm having to fend off addiction, I've got something that could return long-vanquished monkeys to a few backs. Among the computer game deals I saw this week was one from "Good Old Games," the place I acquired the first two "Fallout" titles: You can get a metric ton of Might & Magic for about twenty bucks. Somewhere, in my deep past, are the graph paper maps I made for the original M&M game on the Commodore 64. I even used colored pencils to denote which part of the map was mountain, which was forest, etc. I loved that game, as it was about as close as you could come to D&D on the computer back then, but also because it didn't try to steer you away from danger. The whole world was open, pretty much, and my 6th level party happened upon a dungeon that led to some kind of major demon convention. I got to read the room description right before they wasted every one of my characters (probably for not having a pre-reg 4-day badge). I also recall wondering why my cleric, who I had casting "raise dead" spells every other minute, kept dying in his sleep, requiring me to hit the nearest temple. Apparently, there's a cost for bringing people back from the grave, and my formerly youthful holy man was now over a hundred years old. I remember thinking that was kind of awesome. Then I made more maps, and I don't remember much else until "Doom" came out, I think...

And speaking of games, the holidays have hit the two superhero MMOs. In the City of Heroes Winter Event, all of the old classics are back (snow beasts, candy cane collection), and so is the skiing. That dratted ski slope was something I just couldn't get the hang of, even when playing late at night where nobody could see me eventually miss a curve and plummet to my super-doom.

Over at "Champions Online," they've got an event that shares roots in CoH (large boxes you open that usually earns you an attack from something lurking within) but with an hourly-spawning villain (hourly for the whole "world." Players monitor several feeds to find out which instance the master bad guy has appeared in) and action figure pieces to collect. Unfortunately, as there are five or so figures players want, and they all have three pieces, and the pieces are hard to come by, the chat window scrolls by like the ticker on CNN crossed with an auction house Twitter stream. More disturbingly, it appears to snow indoors in some places. There are "charities" your player can support by giving up game cash, and some heroic players are donating to real-world charities for each "gift" you send them via the game's e-mail system. Some of the aforementioned boxes give you items like a Holiday CD or a pair of Festive Socks, and they can be donated to raise actual funds for causes. On a geek-reference note, I was delighted to see that the "Matching Pen and Pencil" item has "just the thing I need, how nice" as it's description. I love that song.

Back to movies and "livin' the dream." A while back, I linked to a short film shot by a budding filmmaker in Uruguay who showed alien spacecraft and robots demolishing buildings and generally getting all 1950's invasion in everyone's face. That tale has a happy ending as Sam Raimi has hired the kid to make a $30 million feature film! Also from the same alert reader (thank you, Mike!), Stephen King will let you option any of his short stories for a dollar, provided you're an aspiring filmmaker or student. Any future Frank Darabonts in the house?

So now that you know to ask for a high-def camera equipment for Christmas, let's look at what the 'net has for us this weekend:

- Need to make a stocking stuffer and you have extra yarn lying around? How about crocheting a 'Yip-Yip' Muppet alien?
- What's the weather like where you are? No, I mean, what's it like in 'Star Wars' terms?
- The new "Star Trek Online" game has Zachary Quinto lending some of his vocal talent.
- Speaking of "Star Trek," no longer can the show be ribbed for always dismantling the communicators in the first ten minutes, because (language warning) just about every movie and TV show does it now.
- A fast-paced simple (yet sometimes challenging) time-waster: Obey the Game. Try to pass a hail of mini-games where you either follow the instructions or do the opposite, depending on what you're ordered to do.
- A rather amusing list of (probably college dorm-based) 4th edition D&D spells. I especially like #56.
- "Lipdub" films, of massive numbers of people lip-syncing to a song, are nothing new... unless you filmed the whole thing in reverse. Whoa.
- It's "Spot the Difference" time with Goldilocks: Twisted.
- A classic sci-fi remake ("Day of the Triffids) and it's got Eddie Izzard with a gun? This had better be on BBC America or there will be a terse letter or two!
- And just because I like flying saucers, here's a game called Moo Beam. Guide your flying saucer to the next cow to abduct without flying off of the screen.

So I'm starting this festive holiday book called "Death Troopers," which, given the current trends in horror fiction, is probably about Star Wars Stormtrooper zombies in some fashion or other. I'm only a few chapters in, and I've noticed a few things:

1. I wish they hadn't named one of the main characters "Trig." I'm a bit of a news wonk, and I can't help thinking his mom was the former governor of Alaska. His last name is "Longo," which doesn't help, either.
2. Star Wars seems to be the last refuge for people trying to toss off comparisons that go "that's like a [planet]ian [made-up word] [animal name] trying to eat a [planet]ian [made up word] [animal name]" with a straight face. And that sounds about as natural as a Pelemaxian Tentacle Bird trying to eat an Atrisian Shredder Bat.
3. Nobody swears in Star Wars, even if the story takes place on a prison ship. The exception is when an alien says something in non-whatever-passes-for-English, and the best you get is a clinical description of what is supposed to be inserted where.

Geeky-snarking aside, it seems to be coming off as a decent "popcorn movie" novel. Nobody has even mentioned the Force yet, and if it (and the Jedi) are left out of the picture, I think that'd be kind of refreshing. I just hope we aren't going to see a follow-up novel, "Sparkling Vampire Troopers."

In other sci-fi stuff, i09 has listed its 20 greatest SF movies of the past decade, and I did enjoy a lot of 'em, especially "Primer" and "Serenity." I would have included "The Man From Earth," as well. And quite a few on that list are "sci-fi to varying degrees," but actual science fiction is hard to sell. I think the last hard sci-fi films (or at least, the less fantastical ones) I can recall were "Gattaca" and "2010," the latter of which still remains one of my favorite films. It's also fun to see who starts getting uncomfortable listening to John Lithgow hyperventilate while spacewalking over Io. :)

The trailer for "Iron Man 2" was just released, and I think Marvel's got another winner on its hands. I will say I'll be interested to see how "Whiplash" (the guy who turned Tony Stark's race car into a modular vehicle) gets around. That's a big thing with superheroes and supervillains: Transportation. Especially in this case, if you can't really disguise yourself instantly and you don't have a fast getaway, how do you expect to last more than however long it takes for the first cop with a gun to show up? Even if you do leave, what's to stop you from being followed? We kind of give Batman a pass at this kind of stuff, because he's wonder-rich guy with super-high tech that can stop people from following a highly conspicuous car and what have you. But shirtless Russian guy with electric streamers should have a clever plan to vamoose, even if Iron Man doesn't have his armor handy.

There's also a new "Clash of the Titans" trailer. While it still follows the heavy metal concert theme, has a three word "slogan" embedded in it, and at times looks like two or three different movies, I have to say the design for the Kraken is pretty darn cool-looking. I wouldn't have minded that thing being the Cloverfield Monster.

And then there's "Robin Hood," or "something that looks a lot like the last King Arthur movie meets Gladiator." The trailer sets this up as "the story behind the legend," which seems to be code for "guys on horses with swords, yelling and chopping bits of each other off, set to rock music." Though in retrospect, rock music is preferable to Bryan Adams, I think.

I'll most likely be catching "Sherlock Holmes" on Christmas day with the other "kids" at our family gathering, and I'll dutifully report my findings. Until I can make it to 221 Baker Street, we've got:

- If you like things traditional and old-fashioned at your holiday meals, and you have less-than-perfect relations with your relations, here's some tableware that might come in handy.
- Nature, though sometimes seemingly cruel, can be quite the entertainer: It offers us octopuses who use coconut shells.
- I ran across some new interpretations of the Portal song, "Still Alive": First, version that sounds like a pop ballad, the other a techno remix by Raddox. Both YouTube links have info on getting free mp3s of each track in their extended info sections.
- Almost like a harbinger of the upcoming "Epic Disney" game, here's a collection of photos from 'River Country', an abandoned section of Walt Disney World, closed since 2001.
- From Adult Swim games comes Mountain Maniac. You're a crazed mountain man, using your hammer and (slightly steerable) falling boulders to cause as much destruction as possible.
- There are some out there who have gotten away with avoiding mandatory dress codes for too long. Next, we have to make them wear proper boots in bad weather.
- I'm not sure how "free" is defined here, but Steam appears to be offering Team Fortress 2 for free this weekend.
- How do silent medieval monks sing for Christmas shows? Quite creatively, it seems.
- Nerd-rapper MC Frontalot is quitting smoking, using a most unique method based on D&D.
- Shooting, physics, and removing blocks are all a part of Blosics. Knock as many blocks off of the screen as needed to pass each level, but watch out how many shots you use, as each costs you points.

Anyone interested in an RPG game? I have three players already. I need three more. (In fact, I have Saturday and Sunday entirely free due to my lovely wife taking the kids to the National Aquarium - weather permitting. This has never happened to me. Geek that I am, I'm immediately putting in an RPG session for one of those days.)

The place: my house (Connecticut) - directions emailed upon request

The game: "A Fistful of Thalers"

Kobold. Gunslingers.

Scaly monsters of myth and legend you are. Kobolds! Mighty in your smallness. You're headed for a mine to get back home out of this crazy, dusty land. The old Chinaman wouldn't steer you wrong. First, you just have to hijack a train.

The system: I don't have time to learn Deadlands. I want to. So it's Pathfinder. New classes allowed. Characters will include Donner, the cook, The Scale With No Name, and some of the new ones.

Email me or post here please! I'll accept an alternate or so.

How cool. You can always follow the sun:

http://www.everinghamrotatinghouse.com.au/

Everyone thank Alert Reader Michael for inquiring about a 2009 holiday card. Thanks to his prodding of my feeble brainmeats, it has been forged and awaits downloading and printing to fulfill its purpose. Sorry for them being so late in the season, but they do make great gift tags, too, right?

Speaking of the holidays, I noticed a couple of oddities when out looking over deals sites. As a sure sign that our technological advances are misplaced (and that money and taste don't necessarily go together), I've come across these wall-mounted gel-fueled fireplaces a couple of times. Granted, were I still working in a cubicle, I'd probably get one for the ol' office, provided I had a written guarantee it wouldn't set off the sprinklers. And really, if we've finally made fire you can hang on the wall, where are my torch sconces?

Also, there's "Tony Hawk: Ride." For those unfamiliar with this item, it's a video game that simulates skateboarding via a skateboard that interfaces with your game console. This game has also taken a royal drubbing on almost every review site, the critics pointing out its overly sensitive sensors (that can be set off by pants cuffs or nearby furniture), difficult gameplay, lackluster locations, and a pretty high price point of $120. One deals site I look at can give an impromptu chart of the game's decline into bargain-bin territory in very short order, falling to as low as $70 in under a week.

But speaking of games, many sequels had trailers come out on the intertubes, including "The Force Unleashed 2." I liked the previous installment because (1) it had a good story, (2) force lightning, (3) tossing stormtroopers, (4) and force-lightning stormtroopers and tossing their bodies into other stormtroopers. So while another chapter in this troubled young man's life is welcome, I would like to see fewer quicktime events. For those unfamiliar, the game would give you a major opponent, like a Jedi master. To defeat him, you'd do the usual action-game stuff of running around, using your light saber and force powers to do damage, sometimes playing some kind of timing game with a background obstacle (say, dodging a giant plant-monster's swinging tentacles). But when you got near the end of the fight, the game turned into "Dragon's Lair" where you had to press the right buttons at the right times to execute a series of moves that have nothing to do with the controls up to this point. The idea, I assume, was to give a dramatic send-off to your foes, but if you screw up, your enemy gets some health back and you have to wear them down all over again. Also, like a lot of games that give you some kind of "choice," in this case to be on the Light Side or the Dark Side, the sequel has to pick a decision for you to continue the story. I'm kind of reminded of the old "Clue" movie on video tape that came with three endings. I'd be highly amused of "Force Unleashed 2" started off with "it could have happened this way..."

Now I have to get back to clearing space for the Christmas tree (and hucking an aquarium. Look for it cheap on Craigslist soon) which, for some reason, involves moving a piano. While I interact with tinsel, here's some other shiny objects:

- Have you ever wondered what a live-action Simpsons opener would look like in Estonia? We have some good news for you...
- I might actually watch Wimbledon if it adopted a similar theme.
- Attention TV show makers: enough with the 'enhance the image' stuff. You can't pick a face out of a pixel, so just stop it.
- Though I'm sure this game was for Halloween, here's Roly-Poly Monsters. Use your bombs to destroy every roundish creature on the screen in puzzling ways.
- There's something wrong with advertising in America if we're missing out on cereal commercials like this.
- As was pointed out in the comments last entry by Loswick, there's a new Simon's Cat episode! Sadly, it's only first part of a 2-parter, but still...
- The blogger behind "Serial MMOgamy" has had her Lord of the Rings Online account suspended for quite vague reasons, indeed. I haven't seen customer service that heartless since trying to convince a Texas utility that I lived in another state and didn't owe them money.
- C'thulhu loves his Mr. Potato Head. Perhaps a noggin of hollow plastic is the only one he can be himself with and not drive it to madness...
- Arcanorum awaits! Pilot your medieval helicopter with smashy-arm, swinging it around to destroy all who oppose you!

The Globe And Mail:

Canadians don't forfeit right to privacy at border, Obama official says

But science fiction writer's detention a reminder that searches can be intrusive

...

The Obama administration is trying to ease Canadians' concerns that by crossing the U.S. border they risk their right to privacy and the abandonment of their information to Big Brother databases.

"I know there's this myth that the United States is one big database. There absolutely is the myth - and that is not the case," Mary Ellen Callahan, the chief privacy officer for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, said in an interview during a recent visit to Ottawa.

...

Before the Watts incident came to light, Ms. Callahan said she wanted to inform Canadians that there are safeguards in place about the use of seized information, and that Canadians can inquire about the records the Homeland Security Department has collected, make complaints, and correct mistakes, notably through the privacy section of the department's website.

"The public perception is that we're the Wild West," she said, "and that's absolutely not the case."

It continues to rain. I'm up late. The dog snores on the couch behind me. Progress progressed on the former closet soon-to-be pantry. The teen snarled at dinner, then retreated back to her usual sweetness. The boy had another 30,024 ideas about what to do with Legos. The leftover pork tenderloin broiled with teriyaki sauce was good. I enjoyed the Chianti. Christmas is getting closer.

Good night all! :)

US district attorney has declined to prosecute. The matter has been turned over to local police. All of Watts' property has been returned except for his computer, flash drive and notebook.

The AP


Essentially, the US government has washed their hands of the affair. One can see why.

In any early article, Jones (the local police captain, Jim Jones) said that the guards reported:

A) Watts was attempting to enter the United States
B) Watts choked one of the officers

As has been cleared up now, Watts was not entering but leaving the US to return to Canada. I have to think the guards lied about this, as they surely knew which direction Watts' car was pointing and which road it was on. If this had been a small local matter, it might have worked (to a point), though any defense lawyer worth his salt would take them apart on the stand.

Which calls into question B. Watts stated emphatically that he never choked anyone. He is asking for the video (this border crossing has video surveillance) to be released to show the alleged choking. The video has not been released. Why should we believe people who have already lied about the direction of the car?

To be fair to the guards, when interviewed, Jones refused to show the police report to the interviewing reporter though he had it on his person. It is also possible that it was Jones who was exaggerating the story in order to get the media off the PD's back. Who knows?

Ultimately, it is unclear right now where this is going. A local prosecutor will have to look at what the local police have and decide if he wants to commit career suicide prosecute the case. My guess is this will drag on for months and months and then quietly be dropped when the media has its back turned, in large part to see if Watts files a civil suit.